Funny how it seemed he was doing pretty good till I had to write an update for the memory clinic.
I got an email from the memory clinic the other day, and they said it had been 6 months since his diagnosis, and to send an update on how he is doing.
I started out... "I think we are doing well, considering. He has started going to the Adult Day program at the Alzheimer's Society once a week. He is able to take care of himself, dressing, bathing, cooking simple meals, etc."
Then I started writing out some of the moments... when he was difficult... when he was confused... when he struggled...
When it all adds up like that, while yes, we are coping OK, I can see that he is progressing. I was thinking he was maybe stage 3, but after writing all that out, I think he may be in stage 4 or 5.
I think we are doing well, considering. He has started going to the Adult Day program at the Alzheimer's Society once a week. He seems to be enjoying it.
However, in the week prior to starting, he drove me crazy every day, asking over and over what day and time he was to go to the program. Then he would keep saying the wrong time and date after I would tell him the correct one.
He seems better since he had to stop working, due to losing his license. He no longer sleeps all day, and he seems calmer most of the time. He told me driving the bus (his job) was more stressful than mowing the lawn, and he usually comes in dripping sweat and exhausted when he mows the lawn.
He is able to take care of himself, dressing, showering, cooking simple meals, etc.
We have had a few times that he has snuck off, saying he was going to visit a friend, but instead taking the bus to the casino. He is not normally a gambler, having gone to the casino probably once every couple of years in the 20 years we have been together.
The last time he went, he had to call me from the bus station at the Oshawa shopping mall, because he could not remember how to get home from there. He hasn't gone since; I think that scared him.
The past few times that I have gotten sick, he has gotten furious with me, sometimes barely speaking to me for two days, refusing to eat properly, sleeping a lot. The last time, he took off and walked to McDonald's.
I have the Life360 app on my phone so I can track him.
When he is angry at me, he does not say more than one word at a time. To the point that I start to worry it is a sudden decline. But then a friend phones, and he gets animated again during the conversation.
He got very ill himself recently, a fever of 103.5, chills, fatigue. He seemed to struggle more with his words while he was ill, talking word salad, but seem to come back OK. He has no memory of the time he was sick.
While he was ill, he passed out in the shower, and his feet were bright purple. He refused to go to the hospital. Then he developed a terrible rash on his leg, and it was swollen. He still refused to go to the hospital. Finally on the 3rd day, he agreed to go.
After spending hours in the ER, with him wanting to leave and go home, they checked out his heart, which was fine, and said he had cellulitis. Ten days of antibiotics, 4 times a day.
When he would take one pill, he could not remember a few minutes later that he did. So, we put the pills in a daily pill container, one pill in each space. I told him that once the space was empty, he would know he already took his pill. That seemed to help.
His hand tremor has gotten worse some days, and some days it seems like a whole-body tremor. Sometimes his hand will shake so bad, it makes it hard for him to eat or do things with his hands.
He seems to be having trouble understanding sometimes. We bought new windshield wipers for the car; he could not figure out how to open the packaging. Then he said we had to take it back because although the wiper size was 50cm, the instructions inside said that the part you attach it to was 3.8cm. He could not see that they were talking about two different things, and so said we had bought the wrong size.
One day he decided to fix the window well cover. He said he built a frame so it would rest on the window well. He cut it too short, so it doesn't even touch the sides. There is nothing supporting it next to the wall. He laid another piece of wood on top at the front to keep it from falling into the window well. He screwed in screws thru the plastic with no washers, so it is popping off.
He gave up driving without too much trouble (friends and family gave us more trouble, trying to convince him it was OK for him to drive) but he does a lot of back seat driving and criticizing. Occasionally, if I don't do exactly what he wants, he gets furious with me and refuses to speak to me for hours after.
Recently while in the car, he suddenly yells that I am going to hit another car (I am not) but it startles me, and I am looking all over trying to figure out what he is seeing. It’s like his vision is making him think things are jumping out at us!
Recent conversations are not sticking. He had been storing used coffee grounds in paper bags in the cupboard (he says he wants to use in the garden), which of course, had gone moldy. I was able to convince him to get rid of them finally, suggesting we get some plastic containers to store it in the freezer, and then process it in our electric composter. We have discussed the composter a few times recently, but he said we didn't have one. When I said we did, he said he didn't remember, but we have had it for years.
So, we looked around for a container to use, I suggested a plastic cereal container, but what he wanted he described differently. When we found the cereal container, he said that was what he meant (but not at all what he described). I said there were two containers (one inside the other), but he could only see one. I had to separate them for him to see two.
I had him wash and dry the containers, and we left them on the counter. Later that day, he angrily said, I guess I have to throw out my coffee grounds now (from his recent pot of coffee). I said that was what the containers were for, to store in the freezer. He looked at me blankly, what containers?? (the containers were right next to him)
He has mentioned that he is having some trouble sleeping at night, so has started taking 5mg of melatonin before bed.
He has lost a lot of weight, probably due to not eating much. He is also losing muscle; his arms are getting so thin. He is not changing his clothes very often, more than a week at a time, but still showers every day and says he is changing his underwear.
He misplaced his prescription sunglasses, and they were found a couple months later inside a pocket of his friend's truck.
He has lost the secondary set of keys to the car, and we haven't found them in over a month.
The other day he said "somebody" stole his phone and deleted "all" of his contacts, then gave the phone back. He was absolutely furious! I looked thru his phone and only one contact is missing, but he was ranting about how he now has to find and add all of his contacts back.
He still believes that all his contacts are gone several days later, even when I show him that they are still there.
He has started going out and sitting in the car when we are going to go out, even if I am still in the shower, and not ready to leave yet.
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