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That dreaded word... Suicide

 Rob got up early this morning, about 6 am, when he usually sleeps till 11 am. I thought he was on the computer.


But when I came down hours later with the dogs, he was simply sitting on the couch, in the dark, contemplating if anyone would miss him if he was gone.

I told him about all the people who love him, who would miss him, and that it would break my heart. That I would be alone for the rest of my life.

I reminded him of how much he helps me, that he can still do all the heavy lifting, and getting down on his knees to do the things I cannot.

I know he is feeling so lost and useless without his job, no longer seeing his friends every day.

His family was all here before Christmas, and we went out to dinner. His best friend was here before Christmas. But he feels abandoned and lonely, though he will not go out to visit anyone.
He has done so well up to this point, but now I am worried. I decided not to beat around the bush, and told him that if he committed suicide, I would not get his life insurance.

I know he was worrying about financial issues due to losing so much of his income, now that he is on LTD. But he insisted that his policy did cover suicide.

Anyhow, he is doing better now, we had a busy day, and he was able to help me in my dog business. But I am still worried.

I agreed to discuss meds with the Mint Clinic in the new year, though I don't know if Rob will take them willingly.

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